I'll admit that I'm not always the most content person in the world. I can always list hundreds of things that would make me more content.
-if my house were bigger
-if my carpets weren't so dirty
-if Josh would help a little more around the house
-if Avery would sleep better
-if we just had a
little more money...
and I could go on and on and on....
Lately though, I've been trying very hard to be content with where I am and with what I have. After much praying about it, I think I'm almost there. I realized that I care way too much about what other people think, and therefore try to have everything perfect just so people won't think I'm a failure. Basically, I was entirely caught up in ME and what I NEED. In a word, selfish. We are so blessed to have everything we have. In a time when so many people are suffering in this economy, we have felt barely a ripple.
~Is my house small? Yes, but at least we have a nice home and it's filled with people I love.
~Is my carpet dirty? Heck yes, but the two little girls who are responsible for the grime are such blessings. They're worth the dirty carpet.
~Does Josh still leave his dirty dishes in the sink and his clothes on the floor? Yep, but he also works 10 hours a day so that we can have everything we have and I can stay at home with our precious girls.
~Does Avery still wake up at night? Yes, but I'm learning to cherish that quiet time with my sweet baby who is growing up so fast.
Of course, there are still times that I feel like, if I could just have (insert random thing here), I would be happier. I'm a work in progress. But, believe me, with God's help, I've come a long way. I can honestly say now that I can think about staying in our house for another few years without having an anxiety attack. I'm trying to enjoy my children every day instead of worrying about everything that pops into my head. I've been a worrier my whole life, so this is a new way of thinking, a new way of BEING for me.
So far, I like it!